I got my two high school best friends married this summer. I was a bridesmaid twice in two months. It was a job! And, I'm highly experienced in this area! (I've been in two weddings per year for the past three years now.) Between trips to David's bridal, showers, bachelorette weekends, rehearsals, pictures, flowers, receptions, strapless bras, dancing, entertaining the newlyweds.....it really is tough to stand there and look pretty and to boogie down and then go out for ice cream in the dress! Knowing how much work it is just to be a bridesmaid, I am not prepared for all of the fanfare of being the bride.
After this last wedding, I've decided that I need to elope. I would seriously consider going to the justice of the peace to tie the knot. If I decide to do a church or beach wedding, I'm definitely keeping it very low key. I will only invite closest friends and family. There are many people in my life whom I love, but I don't need them all to see me get married. I don't want to have a huge receiving line or a huge reception bill to deal with. I don't like people to fawn all over me and tell me that "everything is beautiful," and "congratulations," and every other wedding soundbite. I don't want 5 bridesmaids watching me get ready, helping me put on my undergarments and helping me to Shamu-dive into my dress only to take the next 15 minutes to get it all zipped up and buttoned, and later to spend another 15 trying to bustle it up. I would be so stressed, that I know that I would end up being a runaway bride. That is just missing the whole point.
On my wedding day, I want to be left alone for an hour so I can shower, shave, do my own hair and put on my own makeup. After all, I am a pro at that now since I've done it myself for many weddings and formals! I want to wear a dress that doesn't take more than two people to put on. I don't want all of my friends in the bride's room with me stressing me out about how everything has to be perfect.
I don't want all of the traditional stuff that represents things that are stupid. If you don't know the real reason behind bridesmaids, flowers, veils, and fathers giving daughters away, you should seriously educate yourself before you go through with these outdated traditions.
I'm not going to make my bridesmaids buy a certain dress. I trust my friends' fashion judgements. They can wear a pretty dress that they already own or use my wedding as an excuse to buy one they love. I'm not going to make them stand up facing my back during the ceremony. I'm going to let them sit and be in a place where they can acutally see me!
Above everything else, I do not want to spend a fortune on my wedding. I'd be very happy to find a cheap second-hand dress off of ebay or from a thrift store or sale rack of prom dresses. I'm not going to spend hours assembling bubbles and party favors. I'm not going to have my name printed on napkins for people to wipe their mouths on.
I've really enjoyed all of my times as a bridesmaid. I am thrilled that I have so many close friends who want me to share in their big days. I have gotten to wear a lot of pretty dresses, carry a lot of pretty flowers, been given lots of pretty jewelry, added to my shoe and purse collections, and enjoyed lots of free food and fun with some of my favorite people as a result of being a bridesmaid. I think that I've lived vicariously through each bride who has included me in her day. Therefore, I am not that interested in having my own big, fancy wedding one day. If and when that time comes in my life, I will probably just want to be married to my amazing guy. I'm not looking for a fairy tale day, just the beginning of a new adventure with the one God has chosen for me.
Until then, I'm loving that I get to be the single and fabulous bridesmaid who pretends to want to catch the bouquet, and enjoys the spoils of the fairy-tale days of others.
ps--If you are thinking that I'm getting too close to being the girl from 27 dresses, consider the fact that the writers of that movie exaggerated the number of weddings that the woman was in so that it wouldn't be offensive to women like me. If they made a realistic version of that movie, Doyle's article would have looked just like this blog ;)
