I want it all

I'm not sure how the topic came up, but last week at work, my editor and I began talking about dating and marriage. She is almost 50 and single. She has never been married and has no children. Honestly, I don't think anyone with children could do her job. She is very committed and does an amazing job, but it takes a lot of hours and not just a 9-5 kind of thing. She is there late nights, early mornings and often on the weekends. That's the newspaper business for you, I suppose.

During our conversation, she asked me if I wanted the 'whole marriage and kids thing'? My immediate response was, "I think so." As soon as I said it, I realized that my answer didn't hold much certainty. My next comment was, "well, everybody else wants me to." She could empathize with that, as well. I continued to explain to her how I'm the last single girl of marrying age in Rebel City, and I sometimes feel treated as if I'm doomed to be a spinster old maid with 50 cats.

The truth is, I know that this is not true--it's a slight exaggeration. I may change that tune if I'm still single at 30, but for now, I'm still plenty young and well in my prime!

Later that day, I thought about the conversation a bit more. I decided that yes, I really do want to be a wife and mother. I really do. But, I want a career too. I guess what I really want is to have it all, and I can too! I will always maintain a full life. I already do. By no means am I sitting around waiting for Mr. Right to call. I keep myself very busy with work, school, my family, church and friends. I almost wish I did have an extra night or two each week so I could just sit around and watch tv.

I may be alone, but I am not lonely. I am enjoying my time to be single. This is kind of my time to be a little bit selfish sometimes and do whatever I want. I don't have to worry about babysitters or what is on my husband's agenda when I spontaneously want to go somewhere with a friend or do something crazy.

Don't get me wrong, I do want my own family one day, but that is certainly not the time when life begins. Life is now, and I'm ceasing this season in my life. This concept is biblical, but marriage is also. I am so excited about meeting the right guy, dating, falling in love, engagement, my wedding day, my honeymoon, and life with a new roommate. I'm excited about telling my husband and family that we're going to have a baby, picking out names, not having to suck-in for 9 months, falling in love with my babies and raising them. After that, I get to see them off to college and watch them get married and give me grandchildren. There are many exciting times ahead, and I want that. But I still want to finish my degree and begin teaching. I want the career too. And, I can do it all, and I will.

And if the marriage and family thing isn't in the cards for me, I'm okay with that too. The truth is I don't know what the future holds, but I'm confident enough in the plan that God has for me to know that I will be happy regardless of what happens to me. All in all, life is wonderful now, and it will continue to be in the future. I will have it all--a full life--regardless.